Over Thinking and Second Guessing

I’m about to peel off another layer of my crazy for you.

I over think things. I know I do it, but I just can’t seem to help it. I examine things from all angles, considering all conceivable sides. I’m sure it’s a symptom of perfectionism.  I like to make sure things are just right.  My husband sometimes tells me I’m ‘beating a dead horse’ when trying to convey my opinion in conversation. I just like to cover everything.  I cover all the angles, saying things a bunch of different ways to be sure I’m getting my point across and making my heart clear.  Then, once I’ve said it, I still think about it, and OVER think about it.

  • How did I come across?
  • Did I share what was on my heart without sounding preachy, judgmental, or know-it-all-y.
  • Was I trying to make myself out to be something that I’m not?  Am I making too much of me and not enough of Jesus?
  • Was my motivation merely to seek attention?
  • Was I just trying to get my OWN opinion across with no thought to how it would make others feel?

Yes. I WAY over think everything. Almost everything I do or say is thought through at least a little, usually more than a little. It’s as if I have a giant filter with teeny tiny holes through which I filter everything. It’s so big and the holes are so tiny, that not much actually ever makes it through. You can well imagine that this creates a bit of a problem where blogging is concerned.  It’s nothing short of a miracle that I actually publish posts, especially the “real” ones.  This little over thinking problem of mine is truthfully the biggest reason that I don’t write more often. My head is full of things I’d like to share, but after the post ideas are sifted through the filter, there is usually nothing left.

I say all of this to say, I woke up early this morning and wrote a blog post {actually, it was so long that I had to split it into two blog posts} about how I keep the meaning in Christmas during the busy holiday season. I listed the many ways that I try to remember the true spirit of Christmas. It’s a post I’ve been contemplating for a couple of weeks now. But, after I wrote them, I couldn’t help sifting them through my filter:

  • Does this sound preachy and condescending?
  • Does it sound like I’m saying “hey world, check me out” or “see how super spiritual I am” instead of what my heart truly wants to convey?
  • Are these things so obvious that people will be left just saying to themselves, “well, duh. she’s just talking to hear herself talk”?
  • Does it seem like my heart is to point others to Jesus, or to say, “hey! follow me, I know the way”?

Honestly, I could go on all day with the self doubt and nutty inner monologue, but I’ll spare you.

The point is that my heart is to tell you this: I have no idea what I’m doing.  I have no advice to give you except to tell you that Jesus truly is the way, the truth, and the life.  I’m an expert in absolutely nothing except needing Jesus.  He is my light and my strength, He is wisdom and guidance {even when my inner monologue, self doubt, and over thinking try to get in the way}, He is peace and Truth, and the reason I’m alive. For real and for true. If there is anything good or remarkable about me, TRUST ME, it’s the Jesus part.

Now, after writing two lengthy blog posts, over thinking, AND  second guessing  {all before 9 AM}  I can boil said posts all down to this:  this holiday season, if you know Him as savior, I just want to encourage you to  steal some quiet moments to  think about His birth, think about all that His birth means to you, and pray about how you can live out the true meaning of Christmas this season.  Think about the glorious impossibility of it all………..and worship…… in song, in word, and especially in deed.

If you don’t know Jesus as savior, and want to know more, have questions, or just want to hash some things out, you’re always invited to contact me. 

Now, I’m going to hit publish……before I over think this one, too.

Do you ever over think things?  Or am I really as nutty as I feel I am? Hit me with it, I can take it…….maybe :-/

XO, Sara

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Comments

  1. I’ve already said it, that you’re too much, and I love all of your too muchness! Keep those layers a peeling and your heart a shining through!!! :]

  2. perfectly said. perfectly written. don’t question your heart. CHRISTmas is so much more – we all get caught up in the “other”. But at the end of the day, it’s Jesus. For me, for you…for so many. We just need to shine our light, until the whole world sees. No one can take the joy of Christmas from any of us…he came, he is…and best part? He’s coming again! xoxox

  3. I love your layers and I wish you would share more of the unfiltered because what you do share is amazing! Love you!

  4. A beautiful reminder of the season Sara. There is a lot of over thinking that goes on in this house. Yes, I’m guilty of it. It can make things very difficult! But I would never think of you as selfish or preachy or condescending – just passionate – and that’s a beautiful thing!

  5. i overthink everything… esp any time i even hint at my faith. it’s just a gift i guess… haha

  6. How did you climb into my head and write all of that on your blog? Are there camera’s in my house? Do I need to be paranoid now on top of neurotic? It is nice to know that I am not the only one.

  7. I can SO relate! I have some of the same issues and those who know me well say I think WAY too much. I also would blog more if I didn’t think and overthink…and think again about all those things you listed.

    I love your heart and I love what you’ve shared about Jesus and Christmas. That is truly what it is all about.

    THANK YOU for being you!

  8. I would blog period if I could stop thinking and over thinking the subject I’m thinking of blogging about! So that’s the jist of my lack of blogging. I have a lot to say but I just can’t get it out of my head and onto the blog. That said, I think you’ve said exactly what’s in all our hearts during this blessed Season. I cry every time I hear the song “Mary Did You Know”! I was in Joann’s Fabrics the other day and it started playing and I teared up immediately! But I wasn’t embarrassed! Jesus is the truth! Hugs to you Sara!!! Keep posting even if you have to over think!

  9. love getting inside of your mind and getting to know you better!!

    xo,
    Sandy
    Sandy a la Mode

  10. Oh Sara, We could all be a little more like you and share our hearts and thoughts with others! Thank you!
    xoxo Elizabeth

  11. wheres the “like” button for this post?? 🙂 Well said!! Well said <3

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