Hanging By a Moment

A blog?
Who has a blog?

Oh………. I  have a blog?! 😀

It’s so hard to believe that it’s been so long since I have blogged.  Well, it has and it hasn’t……

You see, in rediscovering running this summer, I have rediscovered………….thinking.  I mean, clear, coherent thinking. Cohesive thoughts.  Miles and miles of road streteched out before me has meant time to center  my heart & mind,  my thoughts & prayers…..

and, do you know what?

Every morning that I go for a run, I write blog posts in my head…..and they’re articulate & heartfelt…and poigniant…..and in these posts I spill my guts about my life, past and present, about what is really important to me.  In every post my heart is laid bare.

and then the run ends.

and the reality of publishing such posts, puts fear in my gut.  The thought of writing such posts and actually publishing them makes me shake my head in utter disbelief that I would even have considered it. 

and the day goes on without a blog post.

Here’s the thing:  Because I know that I know that during those 7 miles of road each morning, my heart and mind are more fixed on God and His will in my life  than during  any other part of my day, I have to believe that there is something to these “phantom” posts.

I have always kind of felt that this blog was meant for more than just ribbon necklaces……..

“What could she possibly want to say that would cause such hesitation?” You may be thinking….

The truth.  About me.  The raw truth about who I was before I met God.  The picture of me….my life inside and out,  unretouched by God.  A picture that is sometimes even hard for me to remember because He has removed me so far from it.  A picture that is by no means finished, but so different from where it started…..

and not to bring any glory or attention to myself……..

but, a grown-up “show & tell”, if you will………

except I’m not bringing a book, or a toy, or a stuffed animal to the head of the class, I’m bringing my Father……
my Heavenly Father………and I want to tell you and show you what He has done in just this one small life…

a life insignificant to most, but not to Him

Tears are stinging my eyes even as I write this post because now I know there is really no going back. 

and so, I don’t know how…….or where….or when I will start, but I will start.

I don’t know what I’m diving in to….

I’m hanging by a moment here with Him…….

because there really is nothing else to lose and nothing  else to find..

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Comments

  1. That was beautiful….

  2. Your story will touch many hearts and lives. Proud that you’re stepping out. :O)

  3. Lovely post! I look forward to reading more!

  4. It is a very vulnerable thing to lay your heart out there, but just trust that if God is behind it, you will be shown love and support.

    I can relate to writing posts in your head and then doubting them as soon as that moment is passed. I do that all the time. Sometimes it makes it to the computer, sometimes it just stays between me and God.

  5. Why would you be afraid to say that?! I am very happily devoted to my God Jehovah, and not afraid to tell anybody. If it’s who I am…it’s who I am!!…If this is now such a big part of who you are…it’s who you are!!! ^_^

  6. It’s always hard to put it all out there for others to read, but the writing is so cathartic. It’s a brave thing to do, but you can most certainly do it 🙂

  7. DO it again! :0) ( I say in a very encouraging childlike tone – with tears in my eyes too ) – I came to the post thinking I’d find a treasury you’ve done actually :0) but yay for delightful surprises! 😀 I’m very excited for you miss! Because it sounds very much like your heart is open and ready to recieve more than you could think or imagine. And you are totally right about the journey, that it hasn’t “just begun” but has been going on and you are at the cusp of an ending and a beginning and it’s all beautiful! And of course, it’s all because of Him, :0) SO exciting twillypop! Hugs to you!

  8. Beautiful post Sara!
    I don’t have a blog myself, I keep a journal and it’s a place where I write down my most initmate of thoughts…thoughts I have about family, friends, situations that may have occurred and also about God. It’s encouraging to see someone write so openly about their feelings about God. Too many people are afraid to acknowledge that part of their life so publicly and eloquently, and it truly is sad. It’s sad that we live in a world where people have to be afraid to express their beliefs about their God. How they believe He has helped them and supported them through their most trying of times.
    I love that you’ve expressed yourself about how He has been there for you instead of quietly appreciating Him. You give others with the same issue courage to do the same. 🙂
    No matter what you might thing others are thinking when they read your posts, you have to write for you first and foremost…this is YOUR blog after all, and so what if others don’t share the same beliefs as you, that’s part of what might make what you have to say that much more interesting. (and you will probably hit a lot of notes with people)
    Again, thank you for sharing such an intimate part of yourself with us!
    ♥Amy

  9. great post…why do we hesitate to share about our Lord? You are not alone.
    People who support you will be right there with you. HE is proud of you too!

    Natalie

  10. I wish I could read and learn more about what you have to tell in future posts…I’ve discovered your blog and felt a strong connection with the ideas and feelings…thanks for sharing

  11. Sara, wait, you said 7, as in seven miles every day?? Whoa Nellie! I am impressed as they come. Way to go!

    I see your heart moving in His direction and it’s beautiful! Don’t you love an adventure? Blessings**

  12. I often do that composing a blog post in my head thing. I even went so far as to create a different blog for my musings … but so far when I’ve gone to write one of those from the heart blog posts I’ve got scared and not done it.

    Maybe I’ll follow your lead and be brave 🙂

  13. this my friend is crazy insane cool and awesome for soooooooo many reasons! God brought us together on doing this giveaway- that’s a SURE thing:) i love what you’ve shared so far and would love to hear you share some more but i know, that this has stirred up big somethings in a LOT of people’s hearts. you are brave and worded everything here so eloquently. it explains exactly the feelings and the churnings and the tuggings and pullings. THANK YOU FOR OPENING UP- i looove what’s inside:)

  14. Anonymous says:

    Sara you are such a incredibly strong person…I know God is talking to you on those seven mile runs. Listen and be still and you will know what his message is for you and keep writing girl… you are beautiful because God made you that way!

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