Oh………. I have a blog?! 😀
It’s so hard to believe that it’s been so long since I have blogged. Well, it has and it hasn’t……
You see, in rediscovering running this summer, I have rediscovered………….thinking. I mean, clear, coherent thinking. Cohesive thoughts. Miles and miles of road streteched out before me has meant time to center my heart & mind, my thoughts & prayers…..
and, do you know what?
Every morning that I go for a run, I write blog posts in my head…..and they’re articulate & heartfelt…and poigniant…..and in these posts I spill my guts about my life, past and present, about what is really important to me. In every post my heart is laid bare.
and then the run ends.
and the reality of publishing such posts, puts fear in my gut. The thought of writing such posts and actually publishing them makes me shake my head in utter disbelief that I would even have considered it.
and the day goes on without a blog post.
Here’s the thing: Because I know that I know that during those 7 miles of road each morning, my heart and mind are more fixed on God and His will in my life than during any other part of my day, I have to believe that there is something to these “phantom” posts.
I have always kind of felt that this blog was meant for more than just ribbon necklaces……..
The truth. About me. The raw truth about who I was before I met God. The picture of me….my life inside and out, unretouched by God. A picture that is sometimes even hard for me to remember because He has removed me so far from it. A picture that is by no means finished, but so different from where it started…..
and not to bring any glory or attention to myself……..
but, a grown-up “show & tell”, if you will………
except I’m not bringing a book, or a toy, or a stuffed animal to the head of the class, I’m bringing my Father……
my Heavenly Father………and I want to tell you and show you what He has done in just this one small life…
a life insignificant to most, but not to Him
Tears are stinging my eyes even as I write this post because now I know there is really no going back.
and so, I don’t know how…….or where….or when I will start, but I will start.
I don’t know what I’m diving in to….
I’m hanging by a moment here with Him…….
because there really is nothing else to lose and nothing else to find..