The Dysfunctional Party Tee

Confession time. If I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, I’m very shy. Reserved. You won’t get much out of me the first time we meet…or the second…or maybe even beyond that. I won’t compete for attention, so in a group of people I tend to do even worse. I won’t offer my true self until I feel entirely safe. In a group of adults, I revert to feeling like a child in disguise. What do I say? Surely there is nothing within me that anyone else would care to hear……….

I’ve been told by friends (after they got to know me) that I’m “a tough nut to crack” and that I look as though I “have it all together and don’t need to let anyone else in.” I truly don’t mean to appear to be these things……..

These things are merely the outward appearance of part of shy little girl Sara still existing in the body of this 30-something woman……..development, arrested.

Why am I bringing this up? A few weeks ago I attended a party where I knew very few people. For whatever reason I was having a particularly shy night and I was forced to take a look at just how paralyzing these situations can be for me…..and I realized…..I’m weird. Or, at least, in a room full of strangers, this is how I appear. I cling to the wall, stay rooted in one place, arms folded across my chest just taking it all in…while trying to wear an expression that says that I PREFER to stand by this wall, alone.

Got ol’ Twillypop to thinking….what if I could wear a sign, or an article of clothing that would spell my dysfunction out for people. Would people be MORE apt to talk to me, or less so? What would said article of clothing say?……

Are there any situations for which YOU would like to wear such an article of clothing? What situations? What would it say?

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  1. I think more people have “arrested development” areas in there lives than they even know of. Glad you didn’t have any of those issues when we first got together. :O)

    I revert back to awkwardness even walking by or having to talk to high schoolers. I find myself putting my head down and not making eye contact because they are somehow “better” than me. I went to a snobby high school and I was not part of the “in” crowd. It is ridiculous. If I find myself in that situation even today, I force myself to raise my head and not be intimidated. Breaking free!

  2. *timidly raising hand to speak* umm yeah, i get this post. Completely. If I am in a group of more than 2, I probably won’t say much at all, if anything. Why bother is usually my philosophy. I always say, I am a hairdresser, if you’re in my chair I won’t stop talking, but put me in a group, and I won’t START to talk.
    You’re not weird. To me, that’s normal!

  3. Oh Sara, how clever you are to even think of designing something to express your feelings. I’m lost when I go to my hubbies work functions. Everyone knows each other, but me, it seems. But, if someone talks to me–I’m there. I think you are more normal than you imagine. 🙂

  4. You are not alone, girlfriend! I still find it hard to look people in the eye when I first meet them. Maybe one of the reasons I shine in this internet world. I find I can hide fabulously behind my computer screen. BTW…I’ll take one of those t-shirts.

  5. You’ve just described me, as well. That shirt is awesome!!! Is it embroidered or printed? I love it, but doubt I would have the courage to wear it. I should get one for my daughter who suffers the same shyness.

    I think there should be a great big party for all the shy people…no confident, out-spoken, gregarious people allowed!

    Might be a quiet party, though. 😉

    Love the blog!

  6. P.S. I grabbed your button to share on my blog!

  7. Fun post and tee!
    It’s good to be “a tough nut to crack”, darling!


  8. Hello! I’ve awarded you with the blogger Sunshine award!…Take a look…

  9. i love that shirt! i remember feeling all shy a while ago… back when i used to care what other people thought of me. since then i’ve kind of put my dignity aside and grabbed my ego by the balls. i’m quite the attention-getting social butterfly now, but with enough eccentricity to feel just fine walking away from a boring crowd without a word. i think after being shy for most of my life, i pretty much gave up the emotional stress and went in the opposite direction!

    if i were to have a shirt like that it would probably have all sorts of politically incorrect statements – because i aim to offend ALL demographics equally! i’m the kind of person that, when i walk into a room, every single person there will already know whether they will like me, or they will hate me. there is not usually much in between. i much prefer this to my ex-shyness, mainly because all the people i’m likely to never get along with stay the heck away from me! saves me the time and effort! 8D

  10. OMG…I thought it was only me!!! I am the same way…a tough nut to crack. I am always soooooo very shy in social situations. I don’t like feeling awkward either…but I am crazy, don’t know what kind…but I like it…it is what make us “us” you know…we are beautiful, life’s great variety mix of personalities. 🙂

  11. You are NOT develpmentally arrested. You’re only trying to protect a soft, vulnerable place in your soul that aches at the very thought of being wounded.

    YOU are normal. You are lovely. You are valuable, capable and real. And I love you for your candor.

    My son, an extremely creaive animator and musician, is like this. He’s also one of my favorite people on earth. I can talk to him about any subject and he listens empathetically, often giving me wise advice.

    We need people like you to complement us loud, crazy, wacky ones. My shirt would say,

    “Beware! I may say or do something that embarasses you or those you are with. I may shock you or ask a silly question you feel uncomfortable answering. I only do this becuase I’m insecure at heart, and this is my way of compensating. If I’m the clown, perhaps you won’t notice my tears.”

    Thanks for this post. I need friends like you.

  12. Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one! 🙂
    I am 5 minutes from leaving for a girls night out party where I only (barely) know the host. My shirt would read” please, please, don’t talk to me one on one. if you do, only bring up kids and then I can talk about my children….that is my only halfway safety zone.”
    At least I can think about this post while I am there and entertain myself! Cheers~ J

  13. Sara, I understand you very well although I am not shy at all – at least not in the way you are….I am not shy in person AT ALL. I am an attorney and always have something to say (though as I grow, I am learning to shut up) – I AM shy online, when it comes to my apprearance… I have no idea why that is..I did not have a picture of myself on my profile until just a few days ago, and as part of my “therapy”, I just posted two of them on my blog…very tough – not sure why!!
    Don’t fight what you are feeling – it does not mean you are bad, just different (I think better!) oxox AJ

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